


Confession Time, Here's What I've Got

by GinnyK



Series: The World Turned Upside Down [16]
Category: Bull (TV 2016)
Genre: Confessions, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 07:09:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19246306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinnyK/pseuds/GinnyK
Summary: Post ep for S03 E13, Prior Bad Acts.  Bull and Marissa confess a few things to each other





	Confession Time, Here's What I've Got

**Author's Note:**

> So I started this series a year ago, between the two seasons. When season 3 started and Marissa was married I decided to just head off into an alternate universe, one where Greg simply didn't exist.
> 
> I have not finished watching the entire season, but I am in no way "spoiler free", I know where things are headed with Marissa and Greg. 
> 
> With that knowledge I've decided to introduce Greg into my series.

“Hey Greg, it’s me.  Not sure when I’m getting out of here tonight.  I’ll call you later.”  Marissa let out a sigh and tossed her phone on her desk.  She’d been seeing Greg for a little while, and for reasons she couldn’t quite explain to herself she had kept the relationship a secret.  It wasn’t like she was ashamed or embarrassed about it, she was just not in a hurry to share it with the world, or to be more precise, she wasn’t ready to share it with one Jason Bull.

It wasn’t like she needed to hide her private life, she never had before.  And while Bull didn’t hide his  new found, new found again, relationship with Diana, he didn’t flaunt anything in her face.  Their relationship came up in conversation once in a while.  He’d even asked Marissa to make plane reservations for Diana a week earlier, something he did hesitate to ask her to do in the first place.  But as Alex was out that day, she was the natural choice to help him out.  Of course, her visit never came to fruition and Marissa had yet to really find out what had happened.  While she was certainly curious, she didn’t want to pry.  She knew sooner or later Bull would want to talk and when he did, she would be there for him, just like always.

Marissa stopped by the kitchen and headed to Bull’s office, determined to sit down and come clean.  Alex was sitting at his desk, looking rather miserable.  He’d stayed home sick for a few days but clearly should have stayed home the rest of the week. 

“Alexander, go home,” she said with a smile, the use of his full name got his attention. 

“Wrapping things up,” he said as he reached for a tissue.

“Did he get back from court?” Marissa asked as she looked into Bull’s office, finding it empty.

“Yeah, a little while ago. He must be in the bathroom,” Alex muttered, “Unless he’s gained some impressive stealth skills and wandered past me without my noticing.” he chuckled, which ended up in a cough fit.  Marissa handed him one of the two unopened bottles of water she’d grabbed from the kitchen on her way to Bull’s office.  “Okay, I’m going, I can’t think straight anymore,” Alex said as he stood up, a little too quickly. Marissa reached out to steady him with one hand and pick up his phone with the other.  As he powered down his laptop and packed his backpack she called Bull’s driver to see if he was available to take a drive out to New Jersey.

“Car will meet you out front in 10 minutes,” Marissa announced, holding up her hand when Alex tried to protest. 

“Thank you,” he said with a smile as he headed towards Bull’s office.

“I’ll tell him you headed out to suffer in the comfort of your own home,” Marissa said as she took him by the arm and turned him towards the elevator.  Alex gave a wave over his shoulder as he stepped on the elevator.

 

Marissa used the hand sanitizer on the Alex’s desk and pushed the door to Bull’s office open.  He was coming out of the bathroom as she stepped into the room.

“Hey,” she said as she leaned against the nearest chair.  “You look nice,” she said as she got a good look at him.  Usually by the end of the day he was rather rumpled looking with hair sticking up and tie hanging loose.  His hair was combed, tie neat and there was a fresh smudge of toothpaste on his chin.  She took a step towards him and reached out to wipe away the smudge with her thumb.  “Going somewhere?” she asked.

“Uh, yeah I have a, uh thing, date or something, with Izzy,” he stuttered out as he crossed the room to look out the window at the lights of the city.

“Date or something?” Marissa asked pointedly.  She would have preferred he was facing her but the tone of her voice got her point across without his seeing her expression.  Bull shrugged his shoulders as he turned around to face her.

“You heading home?” he asked as he grabbed his phone off his desk and put it in his pocket. 

“Yeah, I guess,” she said quietly.

“Riss, everything okay?” Bull asked as he stopped to really look at her.  She didn’t exactly look upset, just a little uneasy.

“Yeah, I just had something I wanted to talk to you about.  It can wait,” she assured him with a weak smile.

“Nonsense.  This “date” is not likely to last long.  Why don’t you hang out here and I’ll come back when I’m done,” Bull offered.

“You already know it’s going to be a short date?” Marissa asked as she kicked off her shoes and took a seat on the couch.  “By the way, you shouldn’t be on any date, short or long with a married women,” Marissa pointed out.

“Yeah.  How about we talk about that and whatever you want to talk about when I come back.  Deal?” he asked as he glanced at his watch.  Marissa nodded. 

“Oh, I had your driver take Alex home, poor kid looked miserable.”

“No problem, I’ll get a cab.  I’ll text when I’m on my way back.  You need anything before I go?” Bull asked as he pulled the blanket off the back on the couch and set it over Marissa who was curled up in the corner. He set his laptop on the coffee table.  “Watch a movie or do some mindless shopping with the company credit card.”

“Thanks Jason.  Have fun,” she said as she curled up further under the blanket.

Marissa open Netflix on his laptop but didn’t really find anything to hold her attention.  She eventually got up to make herself a cup of tea and change out of her work clothes.  Padding around the quiet of the office she tried to get her thoughts together.  She looked at the bracelet on her wrist, the one Bull had given her the night before he returned to work after his heart attack.  LISTEN TO YOUR HEART the silver disk said.  Lord know she was trying to do just that.

A little over an hour after Bull left, he texted to say he was on his way back with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.  Marissa grabbed two spoons and some napkins from the kitchen before curling back up on his couch.

*******

“Honey, I’m home,” he called out as he stepped off the elevator.  His overly cheerly voice told Marissa that he was hiding something.

“In your office,” Marissa called back from where she was curled up in the corner of his couch in the dark office.

Bull entered his office, tugging at his tie and kicking off his shoes.  He set the bag with the ice cream on the table before taking off his jacket and tossing it on the chair.  Marissa held up one end of the blanket in an invitation for him to join her on the couch.  He curled up next to her, pressing his hand to her cheek.

“Stop, your hands are freezing,” she squealed as she tried to push him away.

“Oh, but you’re fine with eating ice cream in January,” he teased.

“Yep,” Marissa laughed as she picked up the ice cream.

They sat quietly, eating Bourbon Pecan Pie ice cream out of the container.  Neither really knew how to start the conversation they needed to have. 

Eventually Marissa handed him the ice cream and wrapped her hands in the blanket to warm them up.  Bull did the same a minute later, setting the nearly empty pint on the coffee table.

“You want to go first?” Bull asked as he turned sideways to face her, resting his arm along the back on the couch.  Marissa nodded and curled up in the corner of the couch.

“A month or so ago, I started seeing someone,” she said carefully. 

“Really?” Bull asked, eyebrows raised.  “And…does he have a name?  Do I get to meet him?  Why the big secret?”

“It’s a little complicated,” Marissa said.

“What is he a felon, does he have two heads, is it not a “he” perhaps.”

“It’s a guy,” Marissa said with a laugh.  “It’s Greg.”

“Your ex, that Greg?” Bull asked.

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bull asked as he reached out to gently touch the charm on her bracelet. 

“I don’t know,” Marissa said, tears springing to her eyes, despite her efforts to hold them in.  “You and I in such a good place right now, I didn’t want things to change.”

“Why would it change things?  Nothing changed when Diana was back in my life.  Things were the same, well, after I stopped being an idiot and told her about my heart attack, things were the same between us,” Bull explained.

Marissa just gave him an odd look and he realized exactly what he’d said.  “When Diana “was” back in my life?” she asked as he tapped his hand.

“Can we finish talking about you and Greg and the we’ll move on to me, Diana and Izzy,” he said, the slight pleading in his voice led Marissa to keep silent her first response, which was something inappropriate about a threesome.

“Sure.  There’s not a whole lot to tell.  Things are going well.  We’re happy.  And I’m glad that you know now.”

“How did you think I would react?  Did you think I’d be upset, jealous, what?” Bull asked as he reached out to tip up her chin to get her to look at him.

“Jealous, no, not really.  I didn’t think you’d be happy it was Greg.  I know you’re not his biggest fan.”

“True but more than anything in this world I want to see you happy.  You have to know that,” he responded with a wink.

“I do know that.  And you know that’s all I want for you too,” Marissa whispered. 

Bull nodded as he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“So your turn,” Marissa said as she reached into the drawer of the end table, looking for a hair tie she was pretty sure she’d stuck in there at some point.  She pulled her hair into a messy bun and reached for the ice cream, which was melted by that time but that didn’t stop her from finishing it off.

“Yeah, my turn,” Bull said as he tossed back the black and go to his feet.  He pulled off his glasses and tossed them on his desk before pacing around a bit.  Marissa let him be, she knew he was just getting his thoughts together.  He pulled his shirt tails out of his pants, eventually ending up looking out the window at the lights of the city.  Hands shoved into his pants pockets, Marissa could see him shaking slightly in the dark of the room.  She tossed aside the blanket and found Bull’s pills in the pocket of his backpack. 

“Here, take this,” she said as she pressed a Vistaril capsule and the bottle of water in his hand. 

“Thanks,” he said with a tired smile.  He took the pill and went back to staring out the window.

“Hey, it’s okay.  Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Marissa whispered as she rested her head against his shoulder and gently rubbed his back.   She felt him take a deep breath as he turned to sit on the window ledge.  Marissa sat on his desk, legs swinging out in front of her.  He braced his hands on the edge of the ledge, head down.  “Jason, you’re starting to scare me a little,” Marissa said quietly as she nudged him with her foot.

“Sorry,” he said as his head shot up to look at her.  “So I guess it started when I came in the morning Diego died.  Before I went to see Benny I asked you to make plane reservations for Diana.  First of all, I’m sorry about that.  Making travel arrangements is no longer your job.”

“Bull, it’s fine.  Alex was off, it was no problem.  So you went to see Benny, found out Diego died.  I stalled the client and then went to make the reservations.  Both you and Diana seemed so happy.  What happened between then and the night after the funeral when I found you in here, debating the merits of just registering as a sex offender,” she teased, hoping that was the way to go.  The smile she got in return let her know her instincts had been right.

“Well, we need to go back to the funeral, or the gathering at the Colon family home after the funeral to be more precise.  Do you remember the conversation we had when you called to check in with me?”

“I guess.  I gave you an update on the case and then you gave me an update on the funeral.  We talked about Izzy and you told me how all you wanted to do was to save her.”

“Yeah,” Bull muttered as he coughed a little.  Marissa handed him the bottle of water she had set on the desk.  “So, when I was on the phone with you, I was pacing around the guest room.  There was a large pile of coats on the bed.  Well, it was more than a pile of coats as I found out as soon as I confessed that I wanted to save Izzy.”

“It was Izzy under the coats,” Marissa guessed quietly.  Bull just nodded.  “So what happened?”

“I sat down on the bed to comfort her in some small way.  And I did, arm around her, kissed the top of her head, the basic comfort stuff.  And then…”

“She wanted more comforting.”

“Yeah, you could say that.  She kissed me and while I was not an unwilling participant, things went further than I think either of us had planned,” he explained, looking down, unable to look Marissa in the eye.

“How far, Jason?” Marissa asked, pretty sure she knew the answer to that question.  He lifted his head up and reluctantly met her gaze.  She nodded her understanding.

“I tried calling and texting Izzy that night and the next day.  Let’s just say way too many times, as you know.   While I was waiting for Izzy to call back, I realized it wasn’t fair to have Diana come up.  So after you left me in here that night I called her to cancel the weekend.”

“What did you say to her?” Marissa asked.  “Not that it’s any of my business,” she added.

“I told her about the case and Diego’s death.  Said things were rather hectic and that maybe another weekend would be better.  She bought it, I suppose.  Wasn’t happy of course.  And I felt horrible.  But I knew that I wouldn’t have been able to give her the attention she deserved if she came up to visit. Days went by and Izzy still didn’t contact me.”

“Does Benny know any of this?” Marissa asked.

“God, no.  So Izzy invited me to meet her at Glassman’s tonight.”

“Yeah, about that.  Izzy’s still married right?”

“Yes she is.  Uh, from what I gather, things are not going well.  I didn’t pry, it’s none of my business.   So I met her tonight and she told me to stop saving her, that she would be fine.  Didn’t even get to finish my Diet Coke.”

“And nothing happened?”

“We were in a public place.”

“Not what I asked,” Marissa pointed out. 

“We kissed, a little too eagerly for a public place.  But we ended it quickly.”

“And things are over between the two of you?” Marissa asked as she moved from the desk to sit on the ledge next to Bull.  He scooted back, leaning against the window.  Marissa pulled her feet up, hugging her knees to her chest, her feet resting on Bull’s thigh.

“I think so.  She made it pretty clear she doesn’t want to hear from me.  And I have every intention of abiding by her wishes,” Bull said quietly as he took a sip of water.  He handed the bottle to Marissa when she held out her hand for it.  He sat quietly for a few minutes, fiddling with the end of his shirt tail. 

“What about Diana?” Marissa asked.

“Honestly, I don’t know.  I don’t want things to end like this.  But I don’t know how to fix it.  I think I need time to get my head straight.”

“I think you do too,” Marissa agreed as she reached for his hand.  She gave it a squeeze before letting it go.  Bull closed his eyes for a minute, hands folded in his lap. 

Marissa looked out the window at the lights of the city.  She took a deep breath and let out a little sigh of relief.  The conversation about Greg had gone as well as she could have hoped for.  Both of them had done their fair share of confessing in the past hour.  And both survived the conversation. 

Bull startled awake, having dozed off for a few minutes.  He rubbed at his eyes, trying to get a little sense of time and space.  He slid forward a little until his feet touched the floor.  He got to his feet, standing still for a few seconds to get his bearings.  He stood in front of Marissa, hands on her shoulders.  He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“You okay there buddy?” she asked with a little smile. 

“I think so,” he answered quietly as Marissa leaned forward, wrapping her arms around him.  He returned the hug, resting his chin on the top of her head. 

“No matter what happens Jason, remember what I told you in the note I gave you when you came back to work.”

“The Winnie-the-Pooh quote, yeah I remember it.”

“And remember that I love you, no matter what.”

“Love you too, no matter what,” he echoed.

“You heading home?” Marissa asked as she tossed the empty water bottle in the trash and folded the blanket, setting it over the back of the couch. 

“Yeah,” Bull muttered as he sat on the couch to slip on his shoes.  He pulled his phone to call his driver when he remembered the driver had taken Alex home.

“Come on, we can share a cab,” Marissa offered.  She grabbed her bag out of her office and met Bull at the elevator. 

“So, no more secrets?” she asked as the elevator door slid closed.

“No more secrets,” Bull agreed with a grin.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feels good to get back to this series. Hopefully will not take months for me to write my next story. Thanks for reading.
> 
> As always the title comes from the musical Hamilton by Lin-Manuel Miranda. More specifically it comes from a line in the song "The World Was Wide Enough"


End file.
